1. Why did Associate Attorney forward an email to me asking me to print the attachment? Our secretary is gone, but that doesn’t make me next in line… DOES IT?!
2. Corporate counsel for a client I’ve never worked with mistook me for a legal assistant because my voicemail was too polite. Wait a minute… do I see a pattern here?!
3. The firm’s long-term planning meeting is on Thursday. We had one about five years ago. I don’t think we implemented any of the plans we discussed then and I’m fairly certain we won’t be implementing any of the plans now. But, hey, I’ll probably get a nice steak dinner while my family eats Mac&Cheese.
4. Doing work at night during the women’s gymnastics all-round final because Associate Attorney procrastinates is not my idea of a good time. I’d like to charge him for my time instead of the client…I’d actually like to charge both.
5. Earning a bonus isn’t quite the same as depositing a bonus into my bank account. Still waiting for my bonus paycheck… perhaps I can discuss it at the long-term planning meeting. Except I’d like that paid in the short-term. Hmm…
6. Don’t call anyone else a baby when you’re crying about the same thing that everyone else is crying about. Very Important Paralegal is about to lose her VIP status since Litigation Partner has been appointed as a judge and she spends at least an hour in my office complaining about it. Unfortunately, I’m too polite (See #2) to tell her to leave. I’m also too polite to tell her that if she learned to prioritize (see #9) others would be willing to work with her.
7. Still wondering how opposing counsel can have three felony trials in August, travel out of the country half of September, have multiple trials in September and still adequately represent his clients.
8. Are there any well-paying part-time jobs at there? I could really go for a three-day week these days!
9. How can VIP be too busy to complete work I give her, when she’s constantly on her email, facebook, cell phone, i.e. doing everything but work, when I walk by her desk?
RJ 