Monthly Archives: August 2012

My first day at the courthouse

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It was after my first year of law school.  I was clerking in a teeny tiny firm.  I drafted research memos for the most part that summer.

But one day, I was asked to go to the courthouse!

I had to file something in the clerk’s office.  That’s it.  I wasn’t appearing in front of a judge, I wasn’t going with a client.  Just had to walk into the clerk’s office, time-stamp the papers, and leave.

But I thought it was absolutely necessary that I look like a lawyer.  So here’s me looking like a lawyer for my first visit to the courthouse.Yes.  That’s me in my fancy lawyer suit with a briefcase and non-descript file folder.  (I even wear dark-rimmed glasses when I wear glasses!)

The car I was driving that summer did not have air-conditioning.  And only 1 window would roll down.  And it overheated if I was idle for too long.  And I had to open the trunk to get the gas tank to open.  Blue Betty was special.  So, by the time I drove the 30 or so minutes to the courthouse in the sweltering heat, I looked like this in my fancy lawyer suit (Except that I’m a woman, but when you do a google search trying to find pictures of women sweating in suits you find only attractive women in Juicy couture track suits.) :

Gross!

I marched into the court house and tried to locate the clerk’s office.  This is me locating the clerk’s office:

(Again, a perfect replica of me with my dark-rimmed glasses).  I was a little confused, as the clerk’s office has different entry points for different types of cases.  What kind of case did I have?  How could I tell?  A real lawyer would know these things!

I made a decision.  Marched in the door and was thankfully in the right spot.  I stamped my papers.  No one looked impressed with me at all.  This is people not impressed with me:

And then I left.

But you know what I realized that day, my first day at the courthouse?

That everyone else looks like this when they go to the courthouse:

 

(Less the fact that all these pictures are of famous people).

Today’s Fun Conversations

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After unsuccessfully trying to ignore my kids after they woke-up:

RJ:  Good morning!  What are you boys doing?

E:  (While jumping on the bed) Mom, we’re having a party.  Get out of my room!

Z:  Ah!  Ah!  (He’s a baby, what do you expect!)

In attempting to determine my client’s thought process during a termination:

RJ:  Can you tell my you waited 1 month after Employee’s FMLA leave expired to terminate employee?

Client:  That’s when he was released from the doctor.

RJ:  So… you waited until after he was released to return to work to fire him.

Client:  Yes.  And he had poor performance.

RJ:  Ok…

 

Be a problem solver

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With Z becoming more and more mobile, I find myself hearing:

Mom, he’s touching my blanket!

Mom, he’s going to steal my toys!

Mom, he’s looking at the book 15 feet away from me.

Ok, I made the last one up.  But seriously, Z could have just glanced at something that E thinks he wants to play with sometime this week and it becomes a major problem.  Z, of course, thinks it’s great to get these types of reactions so he just continues to do whatever is prompting the yelling from E.

Then laughs.  And does it again.

Being an attorney, I prefer that people solve their own problems.  Particularly childish ones.  So I am trying to teach E to be a problem-solver rather than a tattler or whiner.  It goes a little like this:

E:  Mom, Z’s sitting on me.  (He’s actually sitting at least 6 inches from E).

RJ:  Well, E what do you think you can do so that he’s not sitting on you?

E:  (Turns to Z)  GET OUT OF MY FACE… PLEASE!  (With just the tiniest little shove).

Perhaps teaching him to be a peacemaker would be better than teaching him to be a problem solver.

Short thoughts

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1.  Why did Associate Attorney forward an email to me asking me to print the attachment?  Our secretary is gone, but that doesn’t make me next in line… DOES IT?!

2.  Corporate counsel for a client I’ve never worked with mistook me for a legal assistant because my voicemail was too polite.  Wait a minute… do I see a pattern here?!

3.  The firm’s long-term planning meeting is on Thursday.  We had one about five years ago.  I don’t think we implemented any of the plans we discussed then and I’m fairly certain we won’t be implementing any of the plans now.  But, hey, I’ll probably get a nice steak dinner while my family eats Mac&Cheese.

4.  Doing work at night during the women’s gymnastics all-round final because Associate Attorney procrastinates is not my idea of a good time.  I’d like to charge him for my time instead of the client…I’d actually like to charge both.

5.  Earning a bonus isn’t quite the same as depositing a bonus into my bank account.  Still waiting for my bonus paycheck… perhaps I can discuss it at the long-term planning meeting.  Except I’d like that paid in the short-term. Hmm…

6.  Don’t call anyone else a baby when you’re crying about the same thing that everyone else is crying about.  Very Important Paralegal is about to lose her VIP status since Litigation Partner has been appointed as a judge and she spends at least an hour in my office complaining about it.  Unfortunately, I’m too polite (See #2) to tell her to leave.  I’m also too polite to tell her that if she learned to prioritize (see #9) others would be willing to work with her.

7.  Still wondering how opposing counsel can have three felony trials in August, travel out of the country half of September,  have multiple trials in September and still adequately represent his clients.

8.  Are there any well-paying part-time jobs at there?  I could really go for a three-day week these days!

9.  How can VIP be too busy to complete work I give her, when she’s constantly on her email, facebook, cell phone, i.e. doing everything but work, when I walk by her desk?