Politely Defiant

Hubby and I work encourage E to use “please” and “thank-you” on a regular basis.  I can tell it’s working:

RJ:  E, can you help Mommy pick-up the toys?

E:  No, thanks.

Hmm… I guess it was in a question form…

We are also teaching him about being kind to Z.  This is also working:

Z:  (Trying to grab toys from E)

E:  Z, please don’t touch my toys.

Z:  (Completely ingoring E because he’s 1 continues to grab toys.)

E:  Z, I said please.

Z:  (Still ignoring E because he’s 1, successfully grabs a toy and starts to run!)

E:  (Grabs Z’s shirt, yanks him back, and snatches his toy back)  Z, I’M TRYING TO BE NICE!

Ah, brotherly love.

Today’s Fun Conversations

After unsuccessfully trying to ignore my kids after they woke-up:

RJ:  Good morning!  What are you boys doing?

E:  (While jumping on the bed) Mom, we’re having a party.  Get out of my room!

Z:  Ah!  Ah!  (He’s a baby, what do you expect!)

In attempting to determine my client’s thought process during a termination:

RJ:  Can you tell my you waited 1 month after Employee’s FMLA leave expired to terminate employee?

Client:  That’s when he was released from the doctor.

RJ:  So… you waited until after he was released to return to work to fire him.

Client:  Yes.  And he had poor performance.

RJ:  Ok…

 

Family sayings

Family sayings.  You know, the things your mom or dad said to you that you find yourself saying to your children.  I imagine everyone has at least one or two family sayings that are passed from generation to generation.  Our first family saying was passed down to my two-year-old yesterday by my mom.

Rather than something sweet like, “I love you to the moon and back again” my parents, as a joke (of course), would say the following rhyme:

See my finger.

See my thumb.

See my fist.

You’d better run.

(My parents never actually punched me or hit me, so it’s funny).

Now I’ve got a two-year-old saying: “See my fist, see my fist” as he thrusts his fist into the air and then growls.  The growl is his addition to the family saying.

It’s so great…

I can’t wait until he goes to Bible School tonight to teach all the other boys and girls our family saying.

Excuse me, can you put my breast milk in the fridge?

“Oh crap!”

This was my thought when I was about half way home last night.  (I may actually have yelled it out loud!)  It was then that I realized that I had left my pump with my breastmilk in my office under my desk.  Not as I was leaving my office, or walking down the steps to my car, or as I was putting my things in my car… No, not any of those convenient times.  Only when I was at least 12 miles away.  I quickly have the following conversation… (I’m pretty sure this was in my head)

Does it really matter? I’ve got some in the freezer  Yes!  I need everything in the freezer because I’m gone for a few days next week!

Will it last?  Absoultely not!  The ice pack will be totally melted in an hour.

Should I turn around?  No, I promised 2-year old we’d go to the park tonight.  It’s still relatively early, I’m sure Family Law Partner is still in the office… what’s her number?  Why don’t I store co-worker’s direct lines in my office?

Should I guess the number?  NO! You have a smartphone–look it up you fool!

Why is this happening in a deadzone?!  Finally!

[Ringing] I hope she doesn’t screen my call.  She’s totally screening my call.  Great, I have to call New Male Associate.   Is that embarassing?  I really don’t care… I worked hard for that milk and I need it.  CALL HIM NOW!

“Excuse me NMA, but can you put my breast milk in the fridge?”

And that’s why there’s two bags of breast milk in the fridge at work today.

The Good Stuff

I generally focus on the oddities (or frustrations) of being an attorney and the irony in my workplace here.  But I truly believe I work in the best firm in my city.  Why?  Because of this:

RJ:  Hard of hearing attorney, client just informed me that I cannot begin the MSJ due Monday until Wednesday.  I’m in arbitration on Thursday and need to stay home with my kids on Friday.

HHA:  Well that’s ridiculous.  Of course you are going to start now.  No one is going to be working until midnight or on the weekend on this.  You have two kids you need to be at home with.  Just get started now and I will deal with the client.

And because of this:

RJ:  What time do we need to leave for the arbitration on Thursday.

Partner: Well I was thinking about leaving at 7, if that works for you.  I know you have two kids that you have to consider in the mornings.

Yes, I do work for the best firm!