Worst Negotiation Ever?

The following negotiation took place over a period of time.  Of course, there were a few contingencies that I am not including in this back and forth.  Overall, however, the following was probably the worst negotation process I have ever been involved in (or the best depending on who you’re rooting for).  Of course, if you don’t want to go to trial… you don’t want to go to trial.

Offer:  $5,000

Demand:  $35,000

O: $7,500

D:  $45,000

(Wait a minute… did the demand just increase?!)

O:  $10,000  (Wait, why is there a counteroffer?)

D:  Somewhere between $40,000-$60,000

(I’m confused…)

O:  $40,000 (WHAT?!)

D:  $55,000 + $15,000 attorney fees

(I’m fairly certain that’s another increase.  Is this new math?)

O:  $45,000

D:  $55,000 + $30,000 attorney fees

(But only 2 days have passed… you didn’t spend $15,000 in two days… did you?!)

O:  $50,000

D:  $80,000

(Oh, so after almost tripling the first demand, we proceed in a downward direction.  I see.)

Well, the client got it wanted… no trial.

My first day at the courthouse

It was after my first year of law school.  I was clerking in a teeny tiny firm.  I drafted research memos for the most part that summer.

But one day, I was asked to go to the courthouse!

I had to file something in the clerk’s office.  That’s it.  I wasn’t appearing in front of a judge, I wasn’t going with a client.  Just had to walk into the clerk’s office, time-stamp the papers, and leave.

But I thought it was absolutely necessary that I look like a lawyer.  So here’s me looking like a lawyer for my first visit to the courthouse.Yes.  That’s me in my fancy lawyer suit with a briefcase and non-descript file folder.  (I even wear dark-rimmed glasses when I wear glasses!)

The car I was driving that summer did not have air-conditioning.  And only 1 window would roll down.  And it overheated if I was idle for too long.  And I had to open the trunk to get the gas tank to open.  Blue Betty was special.  So, by the time I drove the 30 or so minutes to the courthouse in the sweltering heat, I looked like this in my fancy lawyer suit (Except that I’m a woman, but when you do a google search trying to find pictures of women sweating in suits you find only attractive women in Juicy couture track suits.) :

Gross!

I marched into the court house and tried to locate the clerk’s office.  This is me locating the clerk’s office:

(Again, a perfect replica of me with my dark-rimmed glasses).  I was a little confused, as the clerk’s office has different entry points for different types of cases.  What kind of case did I have?  How could I tell?  A real lawyer would know these things!

I made a decision.  Marched in the door and was thankfully in the right spot.  I stamped my papers.  No one looked impressed with me at all.  This is people not impressed with me:

And then I left.

But you know what I realized that day, my first day at the courthouse?

That everyone else looks like this when they go to the courthouse:

 

(Less the fact that all these pictures are of famous people).